


Co-Hosting

by thatsmistertoyou



Series: Right Where We Are [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Family Feels, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Biphobia, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Insecurity, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, Making Out, Self-Acceptance, not by dans family theyre just mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-04-03 12:44:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4101436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsmistertoyou/pseuds/thatsmistertoyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Picks up several months after part 1, in which Dan follows through on his promise to invite his family to London for a weekend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Co-Hosting

**Author's Note:**

> Reposting with its own title because I've decided to make Right Where We Are a series with in-universe oneshots rather than a single linear story.  
> Thanks to philslesters for her continued help with this :)

Dan can feel Phil’s eyes on him as he paces the lounge; he knows that by the time he counts back from ten, Phil will tell him to sit down and relax. If he were capable, he’d already be doing it. But after two months of procrastinating, a week of coordinating, and a few more weeks of waiting, Dan’s parents and brother are coming to stay with them for the weekend. And Dan’s irrationally nervous about it.

“Why don’t you sit down and relax?” Phil asks, and Dan sighs.

“Brilliant. Hadn’t considered that. What would I do without you?”

“Clean the apartment by yourself,” Phil says shortly, but there’s no real malice in his voice.

“True.” Dan flops down on a chair at the dining table and smiles sheepishly at Phil. “I appreciate you helping me.”

“That’s okay. I kind of like tidying.”

“Oh, talk domestic to me,” Dan says, laughing.

“I just paid our rent bill from our joint bank account,” Phil says in a exaggeratedly low voice. He sets his laptop aside and gets up, striding towards Dan. “It gives me a lot of personal satisfaction to share things with you.” Phil places his hands on Dan’s shoulders and rubs slow circles into Dan’s back.

“I feel like doing chores together strengthens our relationship, which means a lot to me.”

“Oh yeah, keep going,” Dan says, not having to fake a gasp when Phil kneads a particularly tense spot.

“You complained about having to clean your bedroom because that’s where your parents are staying, yeah?” Phil continues.

“Mhm.”

“Well,” Phil ducks down to whisper in Dan’s ear. “I would have done it for you if you asked.”

Dan lets out the loudest, most obscene fake moan he can muster before they both dissolve into laughter.

“Except not really, cos you’d get annoyed that I put everything in the wrong places,” Phil adds in his normal voice, still rubbing Dan’s shoulder blades.

“That’s true,” Dan concedes. “You don’t put anything  _away._ The only clutter I can stand is my own pretentiously arranged clutter.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Dan can  _hear_  the eyeroll in Phil’s tone, but it’s overshadowed by affection. Dan grins.

“Minimalism is a real aesthetic, Phil, look it up.”

Dan knows Phil is shaking his head when he falls silent for a few moments.

“Still nervous?” Phil asks.

“Kind of, although the massage is helping.”

“You’re welcome,” Phil says matter-of-factly, all playful snark.

“Thank you, darling love of my life,” Dan says dramatically, and Phil laughs. He feels Phil kiss the top of his head.

“How long til they get here?”

Dan taps his phone to display the time. “Probably an hour, depending on how much traffic their cab gets caught in.”

“They could walk from the tube station.”

“I know, but Dad’s so awful with directions that he’s convinced he’d get them lost.”

“Fair enough.”

Dan sighs, and Phil stops his ministrations to slip his arms around Dan, resting his cheek against Dan’s hair.

“Don’t be nervous, okay? It’s gonna be fun.”

Dan squeezes Phil’s forearms lightly. “Yeah, it’s just different, you know what I mean? I’m not used to having them in our space. So few people are allowed in that it’s just kind of - I dunno - vulnerable?”

Phil slips out of their embrace to sit beside Dan and make proper eye contact.

“I know what you mean. We’re used to being private. This is new, and that’s scary.”

Dan nods. “I’m glad that I get to show you off for once, though.”

“Can’t wait to play Trophy Boyfriend for the weekend.”

“That’s the spirit,” Dan says, and they smile at each other for a moment. Dan wraps his arms around Phil in a quick hug. “Thanks for helping me out with this, Phil. I appreciate it.”

“That’s okay,” Phil says. “It’s important to you, so it’s important to me.”

“Love you,” Dan murmurs before pecking Phil on lips.

“Love you back.”

“And my family loves you too, so if you were the least bit nervous about that, don’t be.”

“I wasn’t. I’m a delight.”

“Right,” Dan says, rolling his eyes. “I’m inclined to agree, but I can’t have you getting a big head.”

“My head’s already pretty big.”

“I know. It’s shaped kind of funny too. Like an alien.”

“Shut up,” Phil replies, playfully hitting Dan on the arm.

“Make me.”

Phil looks Dan up and down, considering both Dan and the challenge. He taps Dan’s phone to check the time. “You said we had an hour?”

“At least,” Dan says, smirking.

Phil’s gaze transfers from the sofa to Dan and back, and Dan needs no further invitation. He stands up, grabbing his phone and taking Phil by the hand, and leads the way. He places his phone on the table and flops onto the cushions. Dan barely has time to sprawl out before Phil’s on top of him, knees on either side of his hips.

“Is it okay if we take it easy? I don’t want to be falling asleep when they get here,” Phil says, pushing Dan’s fringe away from his forehead.

“Just what I was thinking,” Dan replies. “I just want to relax.”

“Sounds good,” Phil agrees, leaning down and pressing their lips together.

Their mouths fit together slowly, carefully, as though trying to memorize the feeling. They’ve certainly done this enough times for it to feel practiced, but it doesn’t to Dan. The intimacy of having Phil almost completely pressed against him, kissing just for the sake of it, just enjoying each other - that could never get old to him.

Dan wraps his arms around Phil’s back, pulling him down so he’s propped up on his elbows, their bodies flush from chest to foot. Dan slings his calves over Phil’s, maximizing physical contact. Phil makes an amused noise, and Dan pulls away just enough to disconnect their mouths.

“Something funny, Lester?”

“No,” Phil says, pressing a kiss to Dan’s forehead. “This is nice.”

“Yeah,” Dan says, slipping his hands under Phil’s shirt.

“Thought we were taking it easy,” Phil says, smirking.

“We are,” Dan replies, dragging his fingernails lightly down the plane of Phil’s back. “I just like touching you.”

“Good thing I like being touched by you,” Phil says, nudging Dan’s jaw with his nose so he gets the hint to tilt his head back. Dan does so, and laughs, despite Phil kissing his neck sending shivers up his spine.

“We need to work on our banter, honestly.”

“Just in case we become a superhero duo and need to go back-and-forth at a villain or something?”

“Exactly.”

“Judging by the success of our gaming channel, I’d say our banter is pretty good,” Phil says, his mouth grazing Dan’s collarbone.

“Amusing isn’t the same as clever,” Dan points out.

Phil sits up to look at Dan, an annoyed frown tugging at the corners of his mouth. “It’s not like I have to charm my way into your pants. Did it five years ago and haven’t had much trouble since.”

Dan snorts. “You’ve also been tolerating my bullshit for five years so quit pouting and kiss me.”

“You’re so annoying,” Phil murmurs against Dan’s mouth before doing just that.

“You know, I’d wager that our banter is best when we’re not trying.”

“I think that applies to a lot of things,” Phil says, kissing him again. Dan smiles into it, because that is entirely true.

It takes no conscious effort to continue touching Phil with wandering hands and gentle kisses - it just feels right. And that’s what allows him to finally relax, his chest rising to meet Phil’s and then compressing while he exhales against Phil’s skin.

They’ve switched positions by the time they’re out of breath, panting and tousled but still completely clothed. Dan rests his head on Phil’s chest, enjoying the quiet stillness.

“It’s been too long since we did that,” Dan murmurs after a few minutes.

“Yeah,” Phil breathes, running his fingers through Dan’s hair. “How long were we at it?”

Dan groans and throws an arm out towards the coffee table, groping around for his phone. He retrieves it and checks the time.

“About thirty minutes, I’d say. Maybe a bit more.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah. How long did we make out the first time?”

“First time ever?” Phil asks.

“Yeah. Was like forty-five minutes right?”

“I think so.”

“Huh,” Dan says. “I was too afraid to push it any further then. Now I just didn’t want to.”

“Yeah. It was nice.”

“Mhm.”

“Feeling more relaxed now?” Phil asks, and Dan nods. “Phil used snog, it was super effective,” he says, imitating a Pokemon announcer voice.

Dan smiles and checks his phone again.

“Text from Mum. They just got off the tube and are in the cab.”

“Does that mean we have to get up?”

“Unfortunately,” Dan whines, very reluctant to disentangle himself from Phil’s embrace.

On one hand, he loves that Phil likes physical closeness and cuddling and having limbs entwined at every possible opportunity. On the other, it makes it damn near impossible to want to get up and do anything ever. He bites the bullet and hoists himself off the sofa. Phil joins him moments later, and they look each other up and down. After adjusting their clothes and hair back to proper states of disarray, they sit back down to wait for the buzzer.

Ten minutes pass before it sounds, and Dan scrambles downstairs, Phil trailing behind a few steps. Dan unlocks and opens the door.

“Hello!” his parents say in unison, and Dan laughs when Adrian rolls his eyes.

“Hi,” he says, stepping aside. “Come on in. Proper greetings will have to wait until we’re out of the tiny stairwell.”

Mum doesn’t seem to listen to that, as she squeezes Phil into a hug the moment she reaches the step he’s stood on.

“Move along, Mum,” Dan says, and he watches Phil follow her up the stairs. His dad and brother obey instructions, and Dan closes and locks the door behind them.

x

Dan greets his parents properly after putting their bags away - his parents’ in his bedroom and Adrian’s in the office - and his mum positively suffocates him in her hug.

“Not going anywhere, Mum,” he says, his voice tight.

“I know, but I haven’t seen you in  _months!_ It’s been, what, three months since Christmas?”

“Yeah.”

“Right then,” she says, finally releasing him. “Good to see you, thanks for inviting us, pleasantries abound.”

Dan smiles and then turns to his dad, who gives a hug of much more reasonable strength.

“What your mum said, essentially.”

Dan rolls his eyes and turns to his brother, who has sat down on the couch with his head bowed before his phone.

“Hi, Adrian,” Dan says, rather loudly.

“Hi, Dan,” his brother replies, not looking up.

“Kids these days, always on their phones,” Dan continues, his tone still deliberate, because Phil is in the exact same position.

Dan crosses his arms and exchanges glances with his parents. They sit down at the dining table, looking thoroughly amused. Dan glares at Phil and Adrian, totally silent, when Phil looks up first.

“What?” Phil says.

“We have guests and you’re playing Crossy Road,” Dan says flatly.

“I wasn’t!” Phil insists.

“He might not be, but I am,” Adrian says, not breaking his concentration.

“Do you see what you’ve done?” Dan questions, looking pointedly at Phil. He’s definitely joking now, but Phil’s only growing more flustered, so Dan doesn’t relent.

“What?! PJ tweeted and I got a notification.”

“Right. Because you definitely don’t play that game at any spare moment.”

“Actually shut up,” Phil says defiantly, standing up, crossing the room, and facing off with Dan. “You’re just jealous cos you didn’t get to voice a character on it.”

Dan rolls his eyes and pats Phil’s shoulder condescendingly.

“Whatever gets you to sleep at night, love.”

The ease with which the pet name rolls off his tongue, even in front of Dan’s family, doesn’t seem to escape Phil’s notice. He smiles a little, and Dan returns his grin.

“Just make out already,” Adrian says, although Dan isn’t even sure he’s looked up at all.

“No wonder you’ve got a radio show,” Dad says, miming eating popcorn. “This is entertainment gold.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Dan says, and he’s probably blushing a little, but he doesn’t care. “So,” he continues, a bit louder. “I’ve got fajitas ready to be made if anyone’s hungry?”

“Starving,” Adrian says, and then he groans loudly, apparently having lost his game of Crossy Road. Dan sees Phil throw him a sympathetic glance.

“Dinner sounds good,” says Mum. “I can help out if you want.”

She scoots her chair out and starts to stand, but Dan shakes his head.

“That’s okay, Mum. I’ve got it covered.”

“Alright then,” she says, readjusting her chair. “But what will we do while the Dan and Phil Show happens in the kitchen?”

“Phil’s not helping either,” Dan says, side-eyeing his boyfriend. “Because he’s going to entertain our guests and be proven wrong in his wager that I can’t make dinner in under an hour.”

“And meanwhile, Dan will be at a complete loss of anyone to boss around while he’s cooking alone, so he may spontaneously combust,” Phil says. He sits across from Dan’s parents, and they exchange amused glances.

Dan mumbles under his breath as he exits and ambles to the kitchen.  _Hi I’m Phil, and I like to make my boyfriend look bad in front of his parents instead of just indulging his bossy, excessively homey attitude._

He isn’t actually upset in the slightest, but it makes him feel better to pretend that he is. Eases a bit of the pressure.

Dan likes cooking, especially when he and Phil do it together. But he can’t exactly have Phil helping him. If he does, his family will want to be in the kitchen too. Dan doesn’t need cramped quarters or an audience, thanks very much, as that makes it much more likely that he’ll fuck up. And maybe he feels like he needs to prove that he can maintain a household alone - even if he doesn’t, never has, and hopefully never will.

That was one of the several concerns his parents had had about his moving in with Phil: was he ready to live on his own? Nevermind he’d already done it his first year of uni, and that he basically already lived with Phil anyway; they insisted that he still had a lot to learn.

While that turned out to be true, their concern was a bit unfounded. He and Phil did just fine, and were very happy and well-off. Logically, Dan knows that his parents probably know that. But he can’t help but try to reaffirm it - if not to them, than to himself.

Dan’s pushing veggies and chicken round a frying pan when Phil enters the kitchen, all pleasant smugness, as he knows Dan will chastise him for not doing what he’s supposed to be doing.

“Just checking up on your progress,” Phil says innocently, walking up to Dan and placing his chin on Dan’s shoulder. “Smells delicious.”

“And it’s nearly done,” Dan says matter-of-factly. “Thirty minutes later.”

“I  _may_ have implied  _once_ that you like to take your time when cooking. What’s the big deal?”

“You challenged me, Philip. You knew how that would play out.”

“Should’ve known,” Phil replies, slipping his arms around Dan’s waist.

“Can I help you?” Dan says, laughing.

“Just supervising.”

“You said you were checking. I think it’s been checked.”

“I like to be thorough,” Phil says, kissing the side of Dan’s head before releasing him.

Dan grins as he watches Phil leave.

He thinks that maybe he doesn’t need any more reassurance that him and Phil are doing well. Rather than trying to prove it, he should just show it off.

x

In an unfortunate turn of events, Dan winds up on Phil’s right side at the dinner table. That’s normally their preferred method of sitting, but not when eating in a semi-crowded space, as they bump elbows almost continuously. Dan was so preoccupied with putting dinner on the table that he didn’t realise until they had already started eating. It feels too awkward to get up and switch seats, so they just roll with it.

Mum interrupts a particularly deliberate elbow war with an attempt at small talk that Dan had expected. He can’t really complain, as he doesn’t really give his family enough life updates.

“How are things with the radio show?” she asks.

“Good,” Dan says, giving Phil’s arm one final shove before giving up and picking up the fajita with his right hand. “Last week was the first Monday of March, so we hosted and it was a lot of fun.”

“Yeah,” Phil agrees. “I kind of miss doing it every week.”

Dan nods, and Dad frowns slightly.

“Surely you could go back to hosting every week if you wanted to?”

“Not really,” Dan replies. “I mean, we  _could,_ in theory, but it’s not really that simple. We’ve got friends lined up to host for the next few months.”

“Plus we’ve really been enjoying the extra time,” Phil adds. “I don’t regret making the switch - just get hit with nostalgia sometimes.”

“Yeah. It’s still a lot of work but not nearly as much as it used to be.”

“You wouldn’t think a lot of work goes into it, you know?” Mum says. Dan knows she doesn’t mean to undermine what they do, but it still stings a bit.

“Well the idea is to make it look easy and conversational,” Phil adds, in a fortunate incidence of best friend telepathy.

“Exactly,” Mum says, and Dan tries not to make his sigh of relief audible. Phil bumps Dan’s foot under the table, and Dan relaxes a bit more. He allows himself a moment to eat and try to shake the feeling that he’s being scrutinised. He knows he’s really not, but that doesn’t stop the feeling from creeping up on him every once in a while, especially when his career comes up.

“And Dan’s put in much more work than we have to,” Phil’s saying when Dan tunes back into the conversation. “He organised the last Internet Takeover special all by himself.”

“Really?” Dad says. “We didn’t get a chance to tune in.”

Dan’s in the middle of thinking  _of course you didn’t_ when Adrian pipes in.

“I did,” he says. “Was pretty good. Someone had to take a stance against internet harassment.”

Dan swallows, as his brother knows what it’s like to be a victim of it all too well. Dan will probably never stop being sorry on behalf of his more immature and stalkery viewers, but Adrian has shrugged him off more than once. Having to delete a few social media accounts and deal with some cringey questions is nothing compared to what Dan deals with on a daily basis, he insists. Dan appreciates the sentiment, and the fact that Adrian understands what comes with the territory of being mildly relevant on the internet, but still wishes neither of them - or anyone, really - had to deal with it. In fact, Adrian was one of his inspirations for starting #NicerInternet, but Dan doesn’t see it fit to bring it up at the table.

“Thanks,” Dan says, and he means for it to be a catch-all thank you, but Adrian doesn’t seem to notice.

“That was all Dan’s doing,” Phil continues proudly. “By the time I offered to help, he had already cleared it with Aled, all of our friends, and set up an itinerary.”

“Wow,” Dad commends. “Is it on iPlayer?”

“It’s on Radio 1’s YouTube channel. If you wanted to watch it back,” Dan replies. His mum agrees that they’d like to, and Dan can’t help but beam.

Phil catches Dan’s eye and gives him an encouraging smile, as if to say,  _see, if you tell them about things, they might care._

Dan hates it when Phil’s right; especially when he is without having to say anything.

x

Dan wakes up to the sound of rustling in the kitchen, and squints at the other side of the bed. Empty. Phil’s probably up and making coffee for his parents, who are probably also awake. Dan finds that functional adults are exceedingly annoying.

After a few minutes of denial, he rolls over and hoists himself out of bed. He ambles downstairs to the bathroom to freshen up, only to realise that someone’s taking a shower. If that someone is Phil, then he can still go in, so he knocks.

“Yeah?” his dad’s voice answers, and Dan gives a sigh.

“Nevermind.”

Dan rubs his eyes and tries to look alive while he goes to the kitchen. Mum’s fully dressed, mug of coffee in hand, but Phil’s nowhere to be found.

“Morning,” Dan says with a yawn.

“Morning. Phil’s gone out to get milk.”

“Haven’t we got some?” Dan says, opening the fridge and peeking inside.

“You’ve got the lactose-free kind. Which, ordinarily, I don’t have a problem with - but when put in coffee, it’s horrid.”

“Ah.”

“I told him I’d have gone without coffee but he insisted on going out and getting some. Said he’d get ingredients to make pancakes as well.”

“Then my work here is done,” Dan says, slumping against the counter.

Mum puts the mug down on the counter, quiet for a few moments, before she speaks.

“Phil’s very sweet, you know. Quite thoughtful.”

“Hadn’t noticed, actually,” Dan says, and his mum is unfazed by the sarcasm.

“Does he not -” she hesitates, fiddling with the spoon that’s still in the mug. “Does he not like being around us?”

“If anything, he likes you guys more than I do,” Dan replies, eyebrows raised. “Why do you ask?”

Mum sighs. “Well, we seem to get on with him just fine, but you never bring him round or invite him to come with us on holiday or anything.”

Dan frowns. Apparently taking things personally is genetic.

“You know we can’t really do that, Mum. It’s too risky.”

“But even private little things like this,” she says, making a vague, sweeping gesture. “We hardly ever get to spend time with the two of you together.”

“I’m making an effort to fix that, aren’t I?”

“Yes, but personally, if I were you, I’d make every effort to show Phil off.”

“I do,” Dan objects. “Just not  _incredibly_ overtly. Can’t exactly do it on the internet.”

“Or to your family,” she says, looking down at the mug again. Dan sighs.

“Look, this isn’t about you, or Dad, or Adrian. Or even Granddad and Grandma or whatever. It’s everyone else I’m worried about. Imagine what Aunt Emma would say if I showed up at Christmas with Phil on my arm.”

Mum clears her throat and puts on an exaggeratedly posh accent. “Oh, I knew Dan was gay all along. What a waste.”

Dan crosses his arms and waits for it to sink in. Mum sighs but doesn’t say anything.

“See what I mean?” Dan continues. “Not only is that inaccurate and offensive but I just -” he pauses and takes a breath. “I feel like a lot of our extended family doesn’t respect me, and they wouldn’t respect Phil or our relationship. I don’t want to open that can of worms if I can help it. He shouldn’t have to deal with their vaguely homophobic bullshit.”

“Well, Aunt Emma’s a bit of a prude. And your cousins aren’t the brightest bunch.”

“Exactly. I just want to avoid all of that mess, you know what I mean?”

“Only if you think it’s worth it,” she says, taking a sip of the coffee and then grimacing. “I meant for that to add emphasis and forgot that this is horrible,” she says, her voice tight. Dan laughs.

“Your Mum-Guilting tactics have backfired.”

“Oh, come off it,” she says with a wave of her hand. “If you want my opinion, I say you should invite Phil to your uncle’s birthday dinner and see how it goes. No big reveal, just, ‘hello, this is Phil,’. And Phil will charm them so instantly they’ll forget to question why he’s there.”

“‘Charm’ isn’t the exact word I’d use, but alright.”

As if on cue, Dan hears Phil entering the flat and probably dropping something, as there’s a loud  _thump_.  

“Like I said,” Dan mumbles, and Mum winks at him.

x

Dan’s parents wanted to go to some fancy shop in town, and Dan didn’t particularly want to join them. They promised they wouldn’t be long and they’d bring back lunch, so Dan let them go and settled into an intense Mario Kart tournament with Phil and Adrian.

“I love how this Rainbow Road is like, the cheery rainbow train-in-the-sky one, whilst the other is like a post-apocalyptic death star version,” Dan says, having just completed the first lap.

“I don’t like it!” Phil says, his voice going very high as he apparently speeds off the edge of the track and Adrian laughs. “I don’t like heights.”

“Oh, c’mon Phil. These are  _virtual_ heights. Get your head in the game,” Dan says.

“It makes me have flashbacks to when we got stuck on that roller coaster at Disney World.” Phil launches into the story, which Dan is fine with, because that only distracts Phil further and Dan can maintain his lead. He sneaks a peek at his brother’s screen; he’s in second place and gaining on Dan.

“I know,” Adrian says, before Phil can get too into it. “Saw your video about it.”

“Really?” Phil asks, genuinely surprised.

“Yeah. I watch all your videos. My big brother was obsessed with some AmazingPhil years ago, so I had to see what the fuss was about.”

Phil laughs, and Dan sputters.

“I was not  _obsessed -”_ Dan insists. Being caught off guard causes him to nearly miss a turn, and he has to overcompensate for it. “Shitshitshit,” he mutters under his breath.

“It’s okay, love,” Phil says. “If you hadn’t been, we wouldn’t have met.”

“Yeah, and I’d be winning with no problem right now.”

“You really wouldn’t, because we wouldn’t be in this apartment right now, much less in this exact same scenario, just minus Phil,” Adrian points out, and Dan tells him to shut up.

“Anyway, I think you’re really creative and original,” Adrian continues. Dan knows Phil is probably blushing, but can’t take his eyes off of the screen long enough to appreciate it. He swells with pride on Phil’s behalf.

“I agree,” Dan says.

“Yeah, you’re not like those other YouTubers who just make the same shit all the time. There’s this one guy - danisnotonfire, I think he’s called - yeah. His videos are awful.”

“Couldn’t agree more,” Dan says, and remains unfazed, because his brother is gaining on him and he knows this is just a distraction tactic. Well, he learned from the best.

“Yeah, he’s only got so many subscribers because he’s hot,” Phil says.

“Well, if that’s the criteria, I think AmazingPhil should have approximately seven billion subscribers,” Dan quips back, and he hears Adrian groan.

“Can you two do anything without flirting?” he says, exasperated, as the final lap has begun and he’s still in second.

“No,” Dan says. “It’s actually kind of a problem.”

Normally, he might try to tone it down in front of his brother. But Adrian doesn’t seem to mind - beyond Dan doing it purposely to distract him - so he decides to roll with it.

“How comfortable is the sofabed in the office?” Dan asks Adrian.

“‘S fine. Best surface I’ve ever slept on,” he replies flatly.

“Oh good. I was afraid it might break if you moved around too much. We’ve had problems with it before,” Dan says conversationally, but he knows the sentiment won’t be lost.

_“Ugh,”_ Adrian groans, and Dan grins. “Too much fucking information, bro.”

“Literally fucking information.”

“Right,” Adrian says, the eyeroll apparent in his voice. “Is there anywhere I can sleep in this apartment that hasn’t been defiled?”

“Well, let’s see. That eliminates all of the beds and cushioned surfaces… some of the chairs… the kitchen counter… some of the floor and wall space…”

_“Dan,”_ Phil pleads, and Dan knows he’s gone bright red.

“Seriously?!” Adrian says, standing up and sitting at the very edge of the longest bit of the sofa.

“Still not safe there,” Dan says, and cracks up laughing at the sounds of distress they both make.

Adrian finally falls back from second place, allowing Phil to pass him just before they reach the finish line. He falls back on the sofa, exasperated, until he apparently realises what he’s laying on, and abruptly sits up.

Dan cracks up laughing at his brother and Phil - who refuses to make eye contact with either of them.

“That was low,” Phil says, utterly betrayed. “Sharing details of our sex life with your brother just to win a race on Mario Kart. You’re a disgrace.”

“For your information, I won the  _cup_ too,” Dan says, gleefully proceeding to the endscreen that declares him the winner. “Worth it.”

In response, Phil smacks him upside the head with a pillow.

“I have to wee. Can I trust you not to out us while I’m gone?” Phil says, clearly a bit annoyed, but Dan just laughs.

“Yes, go on. I’ll resist the urge to put together a powerpoint and project it on the side of Buckingham Palace.”

Phil throws the pillow at Dan as he leaves for good measure, and Dan tosses it at Adrian. Adrian doesn’t retaliate, just looks at the floor, as though contemplating something, before looking up at Dan.

“Can I ask you something?”

“If it’s about mine and Phil’s sex life I’m afraid not. But sure.”

“No it’s not,” Adrian says, rolling his eyes. “It’s about a girl. Well, two, actually.”

“Okay,” Dan says, shifting so he’s facing Adrian. His brother has a tendency to wait until they’re alone to say what’s on his mind, if anything, so he’s not particularly fazed by that. He is, however, a bit surprised to be asked for girl advice, given how gleefully he just flaunted his homosexual relationship not thirty seconds prior. But he figures that if Adrian still brought it up, it must really be bothering him.

“So there’s a girl called Jessie who really likes me. Like, I  _know_ she likes me, cos her friend told me.”

“Teenagers,” Dan mutters under his breath, but Adrian ignores him.

“But I dunno if I like her. Like, she’s pretty and funny and stuff, but I dunno if I’m just  _trying_ to like her cos I don’t want to hurt her feelings.”

If Dan’s honest, he didn’t expect his little brother to be so frank with him. Or to be so introspective at seventeen, but hey, Dan was as least this bad at his age.

“Well,” Dan begins. “I’ve learnt that if it’s worth your time, it’ll hit you in the face with a pillow. If you really wanted to be with her, you wouldn’t be able to ignore the urge, you know what I mean? You’d know.”

“I guess,” he says, sighing and staring down at his lap.

“I’d like to think I know what I’m talking about, cos I did manage to snag Phil.”

“I don’t want to stalk her until she likes me, Dan.”

Dan makes a series of sputtering noises and some wild but vague hand gestures.

“Okay, I didn’t  _stalk_ him,” he insists, but Adrian looks unconvinced. He rolls his eyes.

“Whatever.”

“I thought she already likes you though?” Dan asks.

“Jessie does. Emma doesn’t. At least I dunno if she does. But I like her.”

“And you’re sure you like Emma?” Dan asks, wondering if all pubescent relationship drama is this hard to follow.

“Yeah,” Adrian says, looking down at his lap and rubbing the back of his neck. Dan smirks.

“It’s settled, then. You stalk Emma til she likes you.”

“I thought that’s not what you did?”

“It’s all semantics,” Dan says, shrugging. Phil ambles back into the room, and Dan sits back, his arm slung over the back of the sofa. Phil knows an invitation when he sees one, and smiles a little as he sits beside Dan. Dan drops his hand onto Phil’s shoulder lightly.

“Phil,” Adrian says, turning to face him. “Didn’t Dan stalk you until you noticed him?”

“Yeah,” Phil says simply, and Dan grimaces at him. “What? What would you call it then?” Phil asks, clearly having caught on to what Dan and Adrian were talking about when he walked in.

“I dunno,” Dan grumbles. Phil laughs and pats Dan’s knee.

“I’ll concede that it worked out well for us, but I wouldn’t endorse it.”

“Dan’s giving me awful brotherly advice, then,” Adrian says to Phil.

“Okay, you want to know what I think?” Dan says, a bit exasperated. “I think you should just tell Emma you like her and see what happens. You don’t have to make a big deal out of not liking Jessie. She’ll catch on when you take Emma to the cinema and woo her. There.”

“Brilliant,” Adrian mumbles. “Do I kiss her on the first date?”

Dan opens his mouth to tell him no, and then closes it because then he’d be a hypocrite.

“If the moment feels right,” Phil jumps in.

“Also keep it simple til you know what you’re doing,” Dan says. “Otherwise it’s just a lot of tongues and weirdness and it’s not fun.”

“Alright,” Adrian nods. “So my first order of business is to stalk Emma. Then I ask her to the cinema. Then I maybe kiss her.”

“Sounds like a recipe for success,” Dan says, only partially sarcastically. It’s silent for a few moments before he turns to Phil. “Okay, but I didn’t  _actually_ stalk you.”

“You did,” Phil and Adrian say simultaneously, and Dan scoffs, shaking his head and standing up.

“Okay,  _you,”_ he points to Adrian, “are my brother, and you’re supposed to be on my side. And  _you,”_ he points to Phil. “You’re my boyfriend. I could dump you right now.”

“Then all of your stalking efforts will have been for nothing,” Adrian says, and him and Phil crack up and high five over Dan’s head.

“I hate you both.”

“You love us,” Phil says lightly.

“Fuck off.”

x

Mum and Dad suggested seeing Les Miserables while they were in London, so Dan texted Carrie about getting tickets to one of her shows. She excitedly agreed, and, much to Adrian’s musical-hating chagrin, they were set to go to the Saturday evening show.

“What am I even supposed to wear?” Adrian whines when Mum tells him it’s time to get ready to go.

“I packed some smart clothes for you. Go look in your suitcase.”

He lets out an exaggerated groan as he trudges upstairs to do as he’s told, and Dan shakes his head.

“He’ll like it,” Dan insists, and Mum nods. “Carrie says we can come inside and say hi about half an hour before the show.”

“Good thing I planned for us to be there an hour early,” she says, checking her watch.

“I dunno how I’m related to you. You’re so punctual.”

“It’s a Mum thing,” she says.  

Dad and Phil come downstairs a few minutes later, leaving them waiting on Adrian.

“Almost ready, dear?” Mum calls, and there’s incoherent grumbling followed by loud footsteps in response.

“I can’t do up the damn bowtie,” Adrian mumbles, fiddling with the fabric hanging from his collar. “This is why I hate getting dressed up.”

“I’ve got it,” Phil says, stepping forward and tying the tie with quick fingers. Dan smiles.

“Right, time to call the cab then?”

“Done. It’s been waiting outside for five minutes,” Mum says, and Dan shakes his head.

“What would we do without you, Mum?”

“Be late.”

x

Carrie’s already fully dressed for the show when they arrive, and she sneaks them into her dressing room.

“Oh no, this ruins the immersion,” Dan says, gesturing to her costume before giving her a hug.

“Hush,” she says, and she greets Phil first before introducing herself to Dan’s family.

“Lovely to meet you,” Mum says. “Dan and Phil have told us how talented you are.”

“Oh, thank you,” she says, smiling. “They came to see the show - a few months ago, was it?”

Dan nods, and Carrie continues.

“Yeah, a few months ago. My talent has completely diminished since then, so don’t get your hopes up too high,” she says, winking at Adrian, who blushes and looks at the floor. Dan smirks, because he’s given him way too much ammunition.

“There’s a pun to be made about ‘Carrie Hope Fletcher’ and what you just said, but I’ve lost it,” Phil says, and she laughs.

"One will come to you, no doubt," she says brightly. "So how are you all enjoying London?"

Dan’s parents tell her about how they got lost on the way to the shop that afternoon, and Dan can’t help but notice how Adrian just stares at Carrie the whole time.

They bid her good luck for the show and take their seats, Phil in the middle of their group.

"Carrie’s pretty, isn’t she?" Dan leans over to his brother. Adrian shifts around in his seat.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Could put in a word for you, although you might be a bit young for her."

"Doesn’t she have a boyfriend?"

"That too."

"Shut up," Adrian says. Dan puts his hands up in mock surrender.

"Whatever. Just glad you’re a bit more interested in the show now."

Phil elbows Dan. “Come off it.”

"What? Just some good-natured brotherly teasing."

Phil’s gaze doesn’t let up, so Dan sighs and decides to cut it out. For now.

x

The show is as spectacular as Dan and Phil remembered. Adrian did seem to enjoy himself even when Carrie wasn’t on stage, and Dan’s parents said it was fantastic as well. Unfortunately, they couldn’t meet up with Carrie afterwards, as there were a lot of people who came to see her at stage door. Dan texted her their reviews, and she sent a series of smiling and heart emojis back.

Dan’s family is exhausted by the time they get back to Dan and Phil’s flat after having a late dinner. Mum and Dad head to bed almost immediately, and Adrian looks as though he could use some alone time, so Dan takes Phil by the hand to relax in the lounge for a while.

"Long day," Phil says tiredly, handing Dan his laptop and sitting down.

"Yeah," Dan says, stretching out on the extended part of the sofa and propping his laptop up on the arm. Phil curls into Dan’s lap as soon as Dan stops moving, one arm around Dan’s back and head resting on Dan’s thigh.

"Someone’s sleepy," Dan says softly. "Why don’t you go to bed?

"This is good," Phil says with a yawn. "Wanna stay here for a while."

"Okay," Dan replies, gently threading his fingers through Phil’s hair with his free hand.

Dan browses Twitter for a bit, catching up on all the action he missed while out socializing. He switches over to Tumblr and has completely lost track of time when he hears a knock at the lounge door.

"Yeah?" he says, confused.

Dad emerges from behind the door, dressed in pyjamas. He glances down at Phil, who’s fallen asleep. Reflexively, Dan stops stroking Phil’s hair.

"Sorry," Dad whispers.

"S’okay," Dan replies, shifting a bit. It feels a bit odd to be this close to Phil with his dad right in front of them, but Dad doesn’t seem to mind. "What’s up?"

"Bathroom’s out of toilet roll so I was wondering where you keep it?"

Dan makes a move to stand up and show him, as the hall closet is a disaster, but Dad looks alarmed.

"Just tell me where it is and I’ll get it," he says, looking at Phil.

Dan freezes and then leans back. “Hall closet. You might have to dig for a minute.”

"Okay. Didn’t want to make you get up."

"It’s fine, he’ll probably wake up in twenty minutes anyway," Dan says at normal voice volume. Normally, that wouldn’t bother Phil, but given that Phil stirs, Dan’s prediction might be an overestimation.

"Shhh," Dan soothes him automatically, pushing Phil’s hair back from his face and combing through it with his fingers.

Phil appears to settle back into sleep, so Dan looks up, having momentarily forgotten his dad was there. He smiles sheepishly, and his dad grins back.

"I’ll leave you to it, then. See you in the morning."

"Night."

Dad closes the door behind him carefully, and Dan sits back and stares down at Phil.

He doesn’t know what he expected his dad to do or say, but it wasn’t that. His dad’s not rude, so he wouldn’t make a lot of noise or fuss when Phil’s sleeping. But he also didn’t have to react so positively to seeing his son snuggled up with his boyfriend.

Dan’s never been particularly open with physical affection. His job nearly mandates being comfortable with hugging complete strangers, but he doesn’t mind. He loves hugging his viewers, and his friends, and he’ll even hug his most unpleasant family members. But anything beyond hugging is intimate and what’s intimate should be kept private.

And he’s never experienced physical intimacy with anyone like he does with Phil, and not just in terms of frequency. Sure, Phil will cuddle up next to him at every possible opportunity, but there’s nothing contrived about it; he’s curled up in Dan’s lap when he could be in bed, when Dan even suggested he do so. He just likes being close to Dan.

And for Dan, that’s something worth protecting from both prying and wandering eyes. On one hand, he hates having to keep it a secret. But on the other, it’s theirs to keep.

Which is why something as simple as his dad seeing Phil asleep on his lap makes him feel odd. But they’ve chosen to share that secret with both of their families, and the whole goal of this weekend is to share it with Dan’s a bit more.

Dan takes a breath and lets his hand graze down Phil’s back. He thinks that if his dad thinks they’re cute, Adrian is suitably grossed out by sex jokes, and his mum wants to do this more often, then the weekend’s been a success so far.

He doesn’t want to ruminate on the subject anymore, nor does he want Phil to fall properly asleep and trap him there for the night.

"Phil," he says, shaking Phil’s shoulder.

"Mhm?"

"Let’s get up and go to bed."

Phil groans and buries his face in Dan’s hip.

"I know," Dan says, patting him on the head.

Phil is forced to get up when Dan does, and Dan patiently wades his boyfriend through getting ready and then going to bed properly.

Phil needs no invitation to snuggle up next to Dan when they finally turn in, his head on Dan’s chest and one leg slotted between Dan’s.

"Why so tired?" Dan murmurs.

"Been up since forever and was so preoccupied with making your parents coffee that I didn’t have any myself."

"That’ll do it."

"Yeah," Phil sighs.

"Thanks again for co-hosting."

"I’m kind of your co-host in life, I think."

"That’s a pretty accurate description," Dan says, lacing his fingers together on Phil’s hip. "Sleep. Love you."

Dan presses his lips to the top of Phil’s head, which Phil is apparently dissatisfied with. He sits up and pulls Dan into a proper kiss.

"Love you back," he murmurs into the hollow of Dan’s neck when he’s settled back in position.

"I was getting worried for a second there," Dan says sarcastically, but he knows it’s entirely futile, as Phil is probably already half asleep.

x

Dan wakes up to Phil nearly kneeing him in the crotch, apparently trying to wiggle out of Dan’s embrace.

_"Careful,"_  Dan grumbles.

"Sorry."

“You’d think after all this time, you’d be able to get up without waking me,” Dan says, morning grogginess getting the best of him.

“You’re a light sleeper. I can’t help that,” Phil says, retracting his leg but not moving from his pillow of Dan’s chest. “And given how tangled we wind up, that’s probably impossible.”

“We should just sleep on our own sides of the bed with our backs turned to each other like a proper married couple.”

“Sounds awful,” Phil says, sighing against Dan’s neck, which makes him shiver.

“You’re awful.”

“You love me.”

“I don’t.”

“You do.”

“Are we really doing this?”

“No,” Phil says, propping himself up on his hands. “Because your parents are probably awake and we should get dressed.”

“Fine,” Dan says, but he doesn’t move. “I need a shower.”

“So do I.”

“When are my parents leaving again?” Dan says, perking up a bit.

Phil scoots over and retrieves his phone from his bedside table, flopping onto his stomach and checking his phone.

“T-minus four hours,” Phil says. “Shower now or later?”

“Later,” Dan replies resolutely, and Phil smirks at him.

“We’re not so good at this Proper Married Couple thing, are we?”

“We’re not married,” Dan replies, but he knows the point’s a bit moot.

“We kind of are,” Phil says, standing up and setting his phone down. “Just without the piece of paper.”

“Right, I forgot I’m dating Mr. Marriage Is Only a Piece of Paper,” Dan says, sitting up. Phil falters.

“I only said it was if you don’t honour the commitment the paper represents,” he says, exasperated, but Dan just grins at him.

“Good luck explaining that to your mum,” Dan says throwing up his hands in mock surrender. “She wants grandchildren.”

“You know what I mean,” Phil mumbles, pulling off his shirt, walking to his closet, and holding up two button-ups for Dan’s consideration.

“The blue one,” Dan replies.

“I knew you would pick that one.”

“It brings out the ever-present mild confusion in your eyes.”

“Talk dirty to me,” Phil replies, holding back laughter, while Dan attempts to beatbox the saxophone from the song and fails miserably. They both laugh, and Dan idly watches Phil do up his shirt buttons.

“See something you like?” Phil teases, stripping off his pyjama bottoms and stepping into a pair of jeans. Dan considers him for a moment.

“Did you pick the flannel to look nice for my parents or to make it harder for me to undress you later?” he asks, and Phil shrugs.

“Both is good.”

“Joke’s on you because it’s more fun to undo buttons,” Dan says, finally getting out of bed and rummaging through Phil’s dresser for something to wear. He picks out a pair of jeans and steps into them, only to stop short when they don’t zip.

“Shit, are these yours?” Dan says, pulling them in tighter to no avail.

“Yeah,” Phil replies. “They don’t fit you?”

“Apparently not,” Dan says, shimmying out of them.

“You have wider hips than I do,” Phil explains.

“But I don’t even wear them on my hips.”

“Well, they start at your hips but inevitably fall down cos your arse is flat.”

“I’m glad we’ve established the mechanics of my Shakira hips.”

“I’d like to establish the mechanics of your Shakira hips.”

“Later,” Dan says, snorting. He eventually finds a pair of his own jeans and a t-shirt, and puts them on with no further banter to distract him.

x

Dan isn’t bothered by the fact that Adrian had spent most of the weekend playing video games in the office; if he were a seventeen year old stuck at his older brother’s place with nothing else to do, that’s exactly where he’d wind up.

Dan shows Adrian all the games they have on the PC, but stops him from playing The Sims, as he’s pretty sure Dil would carry on while Adrian messed with his own characters, and he can’t risk losing potential footage. He’s forced to leave the room when Adrian decides to play Slender, as that’s not an experience he wants to relive.

He last saw Phil and his parents in the lounge, so he descends the stairs to join them. The way everyone stops speaking and looks at him when he enters the room makes Dan think they were just talking about him, and Phil’s look of surprise seems to confirm it. Phil’s expression changes to that of a reassuring smile, and he pats the space beside him.

"Talking about the weather, were we?" Dan says, rocking back and forth on his heels before walking to the couch and sitting beside Phil.

“Naturally,” his dad says lightheartedly, so Dan tries to shrug off the awkward and the feeling that whatever they were saying about him wasn’t bad or of his concern.

Or maybe he’ll just ask Phil about it later.

Mum makes sure that Adrian and Dad are ready to go over an hour before their train is set to leave, and double-checks that they have everything before Dan can even offer them snacks for the trip.

“Seriously, how am I related to you?” Dan asks as he hugs her goodbye.

“The stork dropped you off and said ‘have this one’, and I said ‘alright fine’,” she says, pinching his face jokingly.

“Rude,” Dan grins, and Mum pats his cheek gently.

“Was the dimples that convinced me to keep you,” she says, and Dan rolls his eyes. Then he remembers that his parents were younger than he is now when he was born, and that statement might be true. Before his face gives him away, he hugs his dad goodbye.

“Thanks for having us. We had a great time,” Dad says, patting Dan’s back heartily.

“That’s okay,” Dan says, turning to Adrian. Dan plans on putting his brother in a headlock and messing up his hair like he used to do when they were kids, until he realizes that Adrian isn’t that short anymore.

“When the fuck did you get so tall?” he murmurs, sizing him up, and Adrian raises his eyebrows.

“Been here all weekend and you’ve just noticed?”

“Alright, that’s it,” Dan says, hooking his arm around Adrian’s neck, pulling him down, and mussing his hair with his free hand.

“Stop it!” he protests, and Dan laughs as he releases him.

“Had to have that be your lasting memory of me,” Dan says, amused at how precisely Adrian rearranges his hair, and then he realizes that he probably does the same thing.

Dad rolls his eyes and motions for Phil to come over, as he had been standing a few feet from the Howells, as though he didn’t want to intrude. Dan can’t help but grin as his family hugs Phil goodbye in turn.

“Was wonderful to see all of my sons together,” Mum says before releasing Phil, and Dan legitimately has to force himself not to tear up. Her meaning doesn’t seem to hit Phil until he’s stepped back in line with Dan, and he grins at her, his cheeks slightly pink.

“We were just telling Phil that we’re booking our winter holiday to India soon,” Dad says as they gather up their things and being to descend the stairs.

“‘S that right?” Dan says, glancing at Phil, who gives a sad nod.

“Yeah, and we’d love for him to come,” Mum says encouragingly, and Dan sighs. They’ve reached the front door, and Dan doesn’t have the heart nor the time to have this discussion now, so he just says, “we’ll think about it.”

The Howells exchange final goodbyes before Dan closes and locks the door behind them. He looks up at Phil, who’s perched a few steps up. He smiles.

“That was fun, yeah?” Phil says, offering Dan his hand.

“Yeah,” Dan agrees, but the word feels heavy in his mouth. “Was until they just did that.” He takes Phil’s hand and allows him to lead the way up the stairs.

“Did what?”

“Invited you to India. They know we can’t have you come with us, but they just had to go there.”

“I know,” Phil says, and they sigh in unison. “Felt the same way when my family invited you to Florida. And Christmas. And everything else.”

Dan momentarily changes the subject and suggests they go to Phil’s room, because he’s pretty tired of being in the lounge. Dan flops face-first onto the bed, and Phil follows suit.

“It’s not that I don’t want to go to your family things or I don’t want you at mine,” Dan continues, rolling onto his side to face Phil but glancing down at the duvet. “I want that more than anything, it’s just -” he breaks off when he looks at Phil, because he’s giving him the Sad Puppy Eyes.

“I know we can’t. And I wish it weren’t true either,” Phil completes Dan’s thought.

“Yeah,” Dan breathes, and Phil extends his hand to Dan, who takes it and intertwines their fingers.

They don’t hold hands much, as that’s something you do when you walk down the street or when you’re sitting side by side at the cinema. It’s a way to show affection casually but publicly. And that’s something they’ve almost never been able to do, so it’s times like this when Dan wants to do it most.

“I know we’ve talked about it a million times and I know there are a million people - well, several million people - that it would affect if we were to come out,” Dan says, stroking the back of Phil’s hand with his thumb. “But I didn’t realise how high on the list our families are, you know what I mean?”

“Yeah. Like, even now, it affects them. And I hadn’t really considered the extent to which it does. Cos right now, it’s affecting them because we’re not spending as much time with them as a couple as they’d like.”

“Right.”

“And if we were to come out, that might be good for them, because then we could. You could come to Florida and I could go to India. We could even take holidays ourselves. Just the two of us. No reason at all.”

Dan nods. The idea is tempting as  _fuck,_ because he really does want Phil to be present in his family and to be present in Phil’s. He wants to spend time alone with Phil with no explanation needed. He wants all of the freedom that coming out would offer them.

“I’m not ready yet,” he says quietly, staring at their clasped hands.

“Me neither. I’m still scared.”

“Don’t think we’ll ever not be scared.”

Phil smiles sadly and swallows before he speaks. “One more thing for us to think about, I guess. But we can still do what we’re doing now. We can do family things in private and just not talk about them online.”

Dan agrees, and Phil sighs.

“I don’t see a way around lying if we were to go on holiday,” he continues. “Either we tell the truth and risk people putting two and two together, or we lie. You know I hate doing that.”

“I don’t like it either, but sometimes we have no choice. We can’t have people jumping down our throats about it. That just makes it harder. And telling the truth about, like, you coming with my family to India: that’s too big.”

“I know. And that’d be a pretty huge lie to keep up. Neither of us could film or do liveshows or take pictures in an unfamiliar location for what, a week or two?”

“Yeah. We could film ahead of time and cancel liveshows though. Maybe even take pictures ahead of time too.”

Phil grimaces. “That’s dishonest.”

“Not  _really_ -” Dan begins, but Phil’s frowning so intensely that he knows it’s no use. “Fine. But that’s all happening in like, December. We don’t have to decide anything for at least a few months.”

“I hate just putting it off,” Phil says, not meeting Dan’s eyes.

“There’s no easy conclusion to come to, Phil. This is all hard as fuck to balance. But we’ll figure it out. We always do, yeah?”

“Yeah, we do.”

It falls silent for a minute or two, and Dan waits for Phil to continue. He’s got his thinking face on, eyes unfocused and brows drawn together.

“When do you think we’ll be ready?” he asks, finally looking back at Dan. Dan barely has to think about his answer.

“I think when we decide to get married, we’ll be ready. Like, those decisions would feed off of each other. We’ve always said we’d come out when we got engaged. And I think by the time we do that, we’ll have decided we’re ready. Not only for that commitment, but for everyone to know about it. Cos that’s the kind of thing you want to tell everyone about.”

Phil smiles. “I can’t wait to tell everyone how much I love you.”

Dan snorts. “You’ll be like, ‘I love Dan so much’, and everyone will be like, ‘that’s disgusting, take that affection somewhere else’.”

“No, they’ll all agree with me,” Phil says resolutely. Dan can only roll his eyes. Phil grins, and then something seems to occur to him.

“That’s what your parents were talking to me about earlier, when you walked in the lounge,” Phil says. “Getting married, I mean. They’re just as bad as my mum.”

“What’d they say?”

“They were just wondering if we were thinking about it. And I told them we hadn’t discussed it in a while. We’re not in a hurry but things seem to be heading in that direction.”

“That’s what I told your mum a few months ago.”

“Yeah. They were really excited at the prospect, though. They said they were wondering about it cos they’ve never seen you happier.”

Dan grins. “So they want to ensure you can’t get rid of me? Go parents.”

“Well I told him that you make me the happiest I’ve ever been too, and that they should be proud of you because you’re the most loving and hardworking person I know.”

“You said that?” Dan asks, and he knows Phil means it, but he wouldn’t necessarily expect him to tell his parents that.

“Mhm,” he replies. “It’s true.”

“Thanks,” Dan says, resisting the urge to kiss him because he doesn’t want the conversation to be cut short. He’s still curious about how that discussion went. “Why’d you look so tense then?”

“Well,” Phil says, shifting around a bit and drawing Dan’s hand nearer to him. “I wasn’t exactly expecting them to bring it up. Especially cos having serious conversations with your parents gives me flashbacks to the first time you brought me to Wokingham.”

Dan raises his eyebrows. “What happened then?”

“I never told you? They kind of had the ‘you hurt our son and we hurt you worse’ kind of chat with me. Can’t say I blame them. I was your Older Boyfriend From the Internet.”

“You still kind of are,” Dan says, disbelieving. “They really like, threatened you?”

“Not overtly. Just made clear that they’re always looking out for you. Doesn’t mean it wasn’t terrifying for me.”

“Wow,” Dan murmurs. “Didn’t know they were so protective.”

“They care about you a lot.”

“Logically - I know that. Guess I just don’t pay attention when they show it.”

“Maybe you should pay a bit more attention to them,” Phil nudges, and Dan rolls his eyes.

“Alright, Mum,” Dan says. “But really, I would like to. This weekend was fun. Thanks again for co-hosting my life and stuff.” He kisses the back of Phil’s hand before sitting up.

“My pleasure,” Phil replies, and, picking up on Dan’s train of thought, asks if it’s time that they shower.

“Absolutely. Need to thank you properly.”

“And we both need to, like, wash,” Phil points out.

“Look at you and your actual reasons for showering.” Dan stands up, walking to the other side of the bed where Phil’s sat. He offers his hands to Phil, and Phil accepts his help up before slipping his hands around Dan’s shoulders. Dan smirks and wraps his arms around Phil’s waist.  

“Maybe there’s something we ought to do before we shower,” Phil says, ducking his head under Dan’s jaw and peppering kisses down his neck.

“Hm,” Dan contemplates, doing his best to ignore it. “Put the lounge back in order? Wash my bedsheets? Change the horrible screensaver that Adrian no doubt put on the PC?”

“Later, later, and I already changed it back,” Phil says conversationally as he unbuttons Dan’s jeans.

“Oh, what was it?”

“Let’s just say you never should have texted him back when he asked you what ‘hentai’ was three years ago,” Phil shudders as he kneels down to strip Dan’s jeans off his legs.

“Probably not,” Dan concedes, placing a hand on Phil’s shoulder to steady himself while he steps out of his jeans. “You know,” he continues, obediently raising his arms when Phil tugs the hem of his t-shirt, “we could multitask.”

Phil tilts his head and blinks, confused. “You want to wash the bedsheets in the shower?”

Dan facepalms and drags his hand down his face slowly. “No, Phil. I was suggesting we fool around in the shower.”

“ _Oh._ That makes a lot more sense. Yeah that sounds good.”  

“Assuming you haven’t completely killed the mood.”

“You still want me.”

“Eh, not really,” Dan says, but he wastes no time in undoing Phil’s buttons anyway.

“What’re you doing then?”

“Making sure all of my attraction to you is completely gone,” Dan says, his gaze travelling down with his hands. “We’ve been together a long time. The passion just fades, you know?”

“Right. I’m not attracted to you at all right now. Or ever.”

“Exactly. Just taking this off cos you can’t shower while wearing a shirt,” Dan says matter-of-factly while he helps Phil shrug out of it. “Can’t wear jeans either.”

“These are indisputable facts.”

Once they’ve stripped down to their boxers, Dan suggests they head to the bathroom and stick to their original idea of showering together - only to save water, of course.


End file.
